A Problem

How do you express a thought...how do u sit down in front of your comp and let all your deepest and darkest feelings out in a blog....going through my blog i realise that i have a severe inability to let it all out...i can never tell ppl how i feel about things except those rare few...looking back at school and college i realised how hard it was for all those ppl to tell me their problems to let it all out....the most i can do is telling ppl my problem in telling others my problems...as confusing as that may sound...

Memories

UNIVERSITY OF NEW SOUTH WALES

How do i describe it.... HUGE. seriously thats about all there is to describe it. First of all i stay about an hour away...so i have to catch a train to Central then catch a bus to campus... you would think thats about all the exercise i would have to do....then you reach the entrance...there's this long walkway to heaven.....there werent any stairs so i thought i could still make it.....boy was i wrong..halfway there's a couple of stairs..then another long horizontal walkway...then you reach the stairs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! that go up and up and up. then MORE STAIRES!!!!!!!!!!!!goodness gracious me. i have done more exercise than i have done in my entire life...thank god i wont usually have to go right to the end of campus coz the law building and commerce building is near the front entrance...the law building looks like a spaceship damn cool. the windows are protruding outwards so it prevents vain ppl like me to stare at themselves as they walk...kidding lah im not that vain thought sharanya may beg to differ. the law orientation was today but i didnt go:( had the flu...the annoying wether here started to get to me...its dry so you get dehydrated really fast....but it also changes from one wether to another real fast. the Aus School of Business is behind the law building...well not exactly behind lah....i havent gone inside yet but i did go to the orientation on tue....the business school has the most no of students in the 1st yr. there was more than a thousand students...the whole auditoriom was full...met a few ppl.....mei is right when she says i tend to attract the indian ppl ...made friends with 4 indian girls nishtaa, nebonita, nimitha and surekha, 2 chinese edwina and serene and 1 greek Natasha. me and natasha were the new ones coz the others all went to the same school. But i of course was the only foreign one...but still, their really cool...

THOUGHTS

23 days since the last update.......not bad seeing how lazy i usually am......either that or aveena has gotten better at persuasion....im leaning towards the latter......my mum made indomee today...mmmm heaven...if there was a heaven i bet there would be endless supplies of indomee...prob coming out of fountains....(actually i think heaven is full of guys who look like McDreamy but for right now im talking food wise)...but then again if there was an endless supply of indomee...there would also be an endless supply of bold ppl...67 words just on indomee...i suck at this lah...the bushfire memorial was on last sunday....flags werent fully raised in honour of the ppl who lost their lives........you know god doesnt give ppl anything more than wht they can handle....and yet you wonder why does god let ppl suffer in the 1st place....(touchwood) i prob shouldnt be the one to question that...god has been beyond kind to me....but it just makes you wonder....and it also makes you thankful for the life you have.....i of course never am with my constant complaints....thats just how human beings tend to be..we only realise how great our life is or how much we love a person when its too late. Every year we make resolutions to change our lifestyles, to love more, to complain less, but how long do they last..how long before you start fighting with your best friend or complaining bout how cold the water is. So this year i didnt bother making resolutions i never keep....smart huh.lol.

Ok so i havent updated this blog in ages. I blame my laziness for that. I'm leaving soon. Leaving to Australia. The problem is, i dont know if i even want to go. Everything is just moving so fast. One minute your still in high school and the next you've finished college. Now i start all over again. A five year course. Giving me enough time to love it and hate it just like high school. At one point of my life, going to Australia was the only thing i looked forward to. But now, as the date creeps closer, i realise I DONT WANT TO GO!!!!!!!!!. Looks like i've actually grown to love this country which i constantly criticize. Or maybe i've grown to love the people i've met growing up here.... my friends. Everybodies going somewhere else.... half of the people i know i may never see again. God knows what part of the world they'll be in. I've moved a lot throughout my life. I think moving from mentakab to Kl was probably one of the hardest. Coz as you grow older, it gets harder to leave. As you grow older, you start feeling a whole new set of emotions. Life was never complicated when i was 5. I remember the hardest decision i had to make then was which colour suited my barbie doll better...I keep moving to places that are bigger with more people to compete with. I guess i always liked being a big fish in a small pond rather than in an ocean. I used to be sooo bored with this country.... spending everyday of my life here but now its going to be short visits probably twice or once a year. Well i guess its goodbye Malaysia and Hello Australia.......................................